Closing Windows/Opening Doors LYRICS

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Closing Windows/Opening Doors

                                                   

1.      Closing Windows/Opening Doors

2.      In Advance

3.      Nice Boy(The Secret to the Workplace)

4.      Hell(The Internet)

5.      Girls in Latex

6.      Boys Gone Wild

7.      17 Ain’t 24

8.      Acceptance

9.      Harmful if Swallowed

10.     Bored as Hell

11.    D.O.S.

12.    Quiet Song

 

 

  

 

  1. Closing Windows/Opening Doors

 

I keep a cactus on my front porch

Just so it hurts a little when you come through the door

So now if you ever ask me why

I won’t have to tell you anymore

And there’s a doorbell

But it doesn’t work

I ripped it all up electrical and stuff

Just cause I’m a jerk

Yeah that’s right I’m a jerk

 

Cold wind blowing

Not cold enough for me

Like a man whose fought in his own American civil war

Is a man who closes all the windows and opens all the doors

 

So I keep a cactus on my front porch

Just so it hurts a little when you come through the door

So now if you ever ask me why

I won’t have to tell you anymore

And there’s a doorbell

But it doesn’t work

I ripped it all up electrical and shit

Just cause I’m a jerk

Yeah that’s right I’m a jerk

 

Cold wind blowing

Not cold enough for me

Like a man whose fought in his own American civil war

Is a man who closes all the windows and opens all the doors

 

Cold wind blowing

Not cold enough for me

Like a man whose fought in his own internal civil war

Is now a man who closes all the windows and opens all the doors

 

 2. In Advance

 

I can’t believe Bob Barker’s still the host after all these years

I think he should retire, sit back relax with a few bruskies

And I’m in love with a nineteen-year-old girl who’s really in to me

But I apologize in advance if I am Bon Jovi

I apologize in advance if I’m not who you wanted me to be

You can tell how talented I am by the way I play four chords

You can say that’s way to self aware but you know what I’m in this for

And I’m in love with a nineteen-year-old girl who’s really in to me

But I apologize in advance if I’m not who you wanted me to be

 

So I can’t believe Bob Barker’s still the host after all these years

I think he should retire, sit back relax with a few bruskies

And I’m in love with a nineteen-year-old girl who’s really in to me

But I apologize in advance if I’m not who you wanted me to be

 

 3.   Nice Boy(The Secret to the Workplace)

 

My daddy told me that when I grow up I’ll be a star

I bet that’s what your daddy told you too now baby look where you are

You’ve got those plastic phony eyeballs and a voice that could break glass

I found the secret to the workplace is don’t get fucked in the ass

 

And I’m such a nice boy

Shaven clean

I’m such a nice boy

Way over eighteen

 

So when I found out about that hierarchy chain of command

That’s when I found out that this pee-on spot ain’t no place to stand

Cause if I tell her she’ll tell him and tell him and tell him

There ain’t no chain to pass

I found the secret to the workplace is don’t get fucked in the ass

 

And I’m such a nice boy

Shaven clean

I’m such a nice boy

Way over eighteen

 

I’m such a nice boy

Never frown

I’m such a nice boy

Time to turn the whole world upside down

 

My daddy told me that when I grow up I’ll be a star

I bet that’s what your daddy told you too now baby look where you are

You’ve got those plastic phony eyeballs and a voice that could break glass

I found the secret to the workplace is don’t get fucked in the ass

 

 4.  Hell(The Internet)

 

Ginger was a man

As far as I could tell

Ginger was a man

As far as I could tell

Hell came easy to him that is why

 

Ginger loved the web

He was a webmaster

I thought I’d seen everything

But then came her

But hell came easy to him that is why

 

Gingerbread houses on alert

Take one for the team

Take it up your skirt

People have fetishes you’ve never even heard about

 

Ginger was a man

Who had a problem

She couldn’t tie her shoes

Without a mouse in her hand

But hell came easy to him that is why

 

Gingerbread houses on alert

Take one for the team

Take it up your skirt

People have fetishes you’ve never even heard about

 

 5. Girls in Latex

 

There are many things in this life that I’ve yet to try

Like shooting up heroin in through my eyelids

But I learned from Bouroughs that I could just like

So if Ginsburg can do it why can’t I?

 

Internet porno is getting boring

U.S. foreign policy is getting annoying

But girls in latex is a sure warning

That we’re alright and we’re happy

 

I know a lot of people who talk a good game

But no one ever just lays down and does it anymore

So all you people sitting behind a desk saying you’ve got a happy life

What good is having a life if you don’t use it at all?

 Internet porno is getting boring

U.S. foreign policy is getting annoying

But girls in latex is a sure warning

That we’re alright and we’re happy

 

So I applaud all of you who just go for it

And to let you know that I’m joining you now

So get your clothespins, your dog collars, and your smiling face

I just want out of the in crowd, and into the out crowd

 

Internet porno is getting boring

U.S. foreign policy is getting annoying

But girls in latex is a sure warning

That we’re alright and we’re happy

 

                                          6. Boys Gone Wild

 

I don’t think I know who I’m dealing with

And if you do then I bet you’re wrong

Cause she said she’d flash me any old day

And it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong

So this boys gone wild

 

Oh Sigma Phi Eta, college boys with short hair

I think I want to vomit on your Nike shoes

But girls when you strip down you make me aware

That I certainly have got a lot to lose

So this boys gone wild

 

Many times at night I’ve been drinking

Thinking what it’d be like to fly away from this world

But then I start to think of all the things I’d be missing

And those girls, those girly girly girls

 

So I don’t think I know who I’m dealing with

As I sang to the sorority they sat there and smiled

Cause these days any old girl will tell me the last time she’s touched herself

And it makes me feel like I want to be a child

So this boys gone wild

 

So as I’m watching this video I’m thinking of another one

A 90’s sappy romance that might seem infantile

But when I was 16 that’s what I thought love was

But now people in this world are forcing me to be wild

So this boys gone wild

Just for a little walk baby

The boys gone wild

 

                                             7. 17 Ain’t 24

 

Hey, it’s alright with me

When you’re getting old

It’s harder and harder to be

A person young at heart

It’s over time to die

But if you’re lucky

You’ll never think about it

But I’m thinking all the time

 

James came by the other night to tell me all about his family

Tom thinks that it’s gonna be fine

It ain’t gonna be fine for me

So if you walk around town every night

And you never ever ever get bored

Well let me tell you 17 ain’t 24

 

So please be good to me

I’d like everybody here now to see

That 42 is looking young

Maybe it’ll be for me the next coming of a seventh sun

 

James came by the other night with his very own family

He told us how his wife had just made another perfect memory

And then I start to think it might be time for my wilderness store

So let me tell you 17 ain’t 24

 

These days people like to come around

And say that they’re younger than me

You know what I don’t care it didn’t use to bother me

People having kids, their very own family

Well I’ll have mine, I’ll get there in time

And that’s how it’s going to be

 

Well James came by the other night and his son just hit a homerun

And I thought maybe someday having a son would be fun

But these days I like just to walk around and I never ever ever get bored

But let me tell you 17 ain’t 24

 

James came by the other night with his very own family

He told me how his little girl would be the next Jackie Kennedy

And when we use to walk all alone and never ever ever get bored

But let me tell you 17 ain’t 24

It ain’t 24

24 and so much more

 

8. Acceptance

 

What’s been has been and what will be will be

But I’ve got a lot riding on this ice cream

What’s done is done what’s seen is seen

 

What’s been has been and what will be will be

But I’ve got a lot riding on this ice cream

What’s done is done what’s seen is seen

 

I almost croaked in 1994 but I won’t die

Almost again in 1999 but I won’t die

I spoke to mystical gods who said, “The writing’s on the wall.

Loneliness is at the core of it all.”

I spoke to mystical gods who told me once they said,

“Penis size don’t matter girls it’s all in your head.”

What’s done is done what’s seen is seen

 

What’s been has been and what will be will be

But I’ve got a lot riding on this ice cream

What’s done is done what’s seen is seen

 

9. Harmful if Swallowed

 

Dangerous minds think alike

I wish I had a new bike

Clones moving in and out of town

I’m alone but I’m not down and out

Some of this may be easy to hear

Some of this may be harmful if swallowed

 

People with great minds think alike

Glad I never met Mussolini

Sometimes tailors mess up

And I end up wearing a dress

That doesn’t fit

Some of this may be easy to take

Some of this may be harmful if swallowed

 

If you are ever walking in the highlands

And you feel a tickle on your neck

Don’t worry or think it’s a ghost or a spirit or anything else but a friend

Some of this may be so easy to take

Some of this may be harmful if swallowed

 

Time to wake up

Get me out of this anti-everything itch

SSRI stands for something I can’t even mention

But not what it was supposed to

No not what they told me

Not what they told me

Harmful if swallowed

 

Shrinks are like blueberries

Pluck them once, never see them again

But I love them, just as they love me

They love me

 

They say, “Some of this may be quite easy to take,

While others may be harmful if swallowed.”

May be harmful if swallowed

 

 10. Bored as Hell

 

Were you the cream of the crop

Were you the one who was dropped from your label

Were you a photographed child

One who ran wild across the table

Were you the child who was left behind

Was this the kind of life you had in mind

These day lying in bed, rotting there in this cell

Bored as hell

 

Were you the man with a plan

Did everyone say that man’s just a dreamer

But what set you apart was that your untamed heart’s a little bit greener

And nine to five’s just a waste of time

Is this the kind of life you had in mind

These days lying in bed, never quite feeling too well

Bored as hell

 

Were you the child who was left behind

Was this the kind of life you had in mind

These days lying in bed, never quite feeling too well

Bored as hell

Were you the cream of the crop

Were you the one who was dropped from your label

Were you a mystic child

One who ran wild across the table

Were you the child who was left behind

This ain’t the kind of life I had in mind

And will I be o.k., these days I can never tell

Bored as hell

 

11. D.O.S.

 

12. Quiet Song

 

It’s hard to make a meaning of something

When you don’t even know what it is

It’s hard to get people to love you

When what you love isn’t even yours to begin with

 

All the people who love the mission

They can all go out fishin’

I love people just as much as you love God

 

So I’ll sing a quiet song for everyone

Sing a quiet song for those in need

Sing a quiet song for God who loves me

Sing a quiet song

 

It’s the middle of the night on an October night

And I don’t know where I’m going

Some people like to walk but I like to stroll around the world

But where I’m going nobody knows

It’s a quiet October night and I’m strolling

I heard somebody play a nice piano tonight

 

Sing a quiet song for those who love me

Sing a quiet song for those in need

Sing a quiet song for my own welfare

People who need me now

 

Think I’ll walk down the road into western Massachusetts

Hitch a ride with a girl with a red dress on

Haven’t figure out just what it means yet

But things are so very loud

You should take some time out for yourself

 

And sing a quiet song for those who love me

It’s a quiet song for those in need

Sing a quiet song for those who hate me

Sing a quiet song cause it’s late at night

Sing a quiet song for those who are hungry

Sing a quiet song for those who are full up

Sing a quiet song for those who love me

This October night

On this oh so loud October night

Sing a quiet song

 

 

 

Words and Music by Adam Goldberg. Copyright 2004 Cellophane Dreams Productions.